


You know how to find me. You know what you have to do.

by shipsnthenight



Category: Inception (2010), Mass Effect - All Media Types, Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Addiction, Depression, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-24
Updated: 2018-08-24
Packaged: 2019-07-02 01:04:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15785799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shipsnthenight/pseuds/shipsnthenight
Summary: - They come here every day to sleep?- No. They come to be woken up. The dream has become their reality. Who are you to say otherwise, son?I'll be honest, this is no happy ending, for anyone.----I present to you another one of my random 4 AM ideas that don't leave me alone until I write them.You don't have to have seen Nolan's Inception to read this (I explain the basics in the story), but it'll certainly add to it if you have. Also, there's a whole alien race that is taken directly from Mass Effect. Again, you don't need to have played the game to understand. Yes, it's my secret dream to have Alex interact with an Asari so sue me.





	You know how to find me. You know what you have to do.

_The sunsets are so beautiful this time of year_  is all you can think of.   
You’re sitting on the ground, your back against a solitary rock on the side of the road that leads up to Midvale, a cliff sloping down into the sea a few feet away from you. Behind you, two bikes parked just out of the road.  
A movement to your left pulls you out of the trance as a soft mop of dark hair settles onto your shoulder, you look to your left, and there she is.   
Sitting right next to you, legs crossed, shoulders relaxed, looking at that same sunset you have been losing yourself into, not a care in the world.

You move to place a gentle kiss on Maggie’s head. She doesn’t move. 

“It’s so quiet…” she whispers.

You smile softly, and gently move your arm around her shoulders.  
She settles into your embrace, her head now in the crook of your neck. Maggie closes her eyes and sighs as she entwines her fingers with yours, you both just sit there in silence, simply enjoying each other’s presence and this peaceful moment.  
“You better enjoy this now, you know the second we get up there we won’t have a moment for ourselves” you whisper.  
“Pfff… it’s just your mom, and your sister and Lena, and J’onn and M’gann, and James, and Winn, all under one roof for a weekend, I mean… what could go wrong!?” is Maggie’s quick response. You both chuckle at that.   
“Oh god, don’t remind me! I am honestly planning on jumping on my surfboard as soon as we get there and jump off on Sunday night when we have to leave.”  
“Well… as much as I wouldn’t mind you taking a break from that from time to time, just so you could join me and my soon-to-be-amazing sun-tan on the beach, I am certainly looking forward to enjoying the view, Danvers.” Maggie says, as she wraps her free arm around your neck and brings your head down for a long kiss.   
You separate, both still enraptured in the bliss of the moment. Nothing, nothing could be more perfect than this, you think.  
  
You move to resume your position, but Maggie gently pulls your head down again, this time, she brings her lips close to your ear.  
“Was this not enough for you?” you hear her whisper, almost inaudibly.  
You are not one-hundred percent sure, but you could have sworn you heard the distant sound of glass shattering somewhere.   
  
“…what?” you ask.  
Maggie lets go of your neck, you take her head in your hands.   
You need to see her face.   
As you do, you realize that a single tear has been slipping out of her eye, she is looking at you, so lost, so… defeated. Why? What is she talking about!? What’s going on!?  
“Maggie wha—”  
“Was I not enough for you? Please, Alex… tell me.” She’s full-on crying now, around you everything starts to shake, the sea gets bigger and angrier, the sky gets cloudy and it starts raining, all in the span of ten seconds. You don’t know what to do.  
“Maggie what’s going on!?” You ask… helpless.   
“Answer the question Alex!” she sounds so angry now “Was I NOT ENOUGH for you!?”

You don’t have time to answer, you wouldn’t know how anyway, suddenly a giant wave crashes onto the cliff and engulfs you both, the sheer force of the sea carrying you away and into the water.

You open your eyes.

“Welcome back.” says a soft voice to your right.   
You sit up slowly and look around, still a little disoriented, but not startled.   
Every time you wake up from a Somnacin induced dream you never startle, you just… open your eyes, no matter how beautiful, horrible or tragic your dream was.

You look to your right and see Shiara, the beautiful blue alien is crouching next to your cot, in the process of removing your IV and turning off your machine.   
She grabs a bandaid and gently applies it to your arm where the needle just was. Shiara looks up at you, smiles genuinely, but you’re still too out of it to reciprocate, not that you want to anyway.

“You’ve been under for longer tonight…” she says, moving her head to try and make you look at her; you don’t answer.  
Shiara sighs and gets back up, shaking her head: “Come on.”  
You get up slowly and follow her close behind.   
As you walk, you take a moment to observe the big room that has become your hiding place from everyone and everything for the past four months.  
  
It’s under the street level, dimly lit by a few lightbulbs here and there… you don’t need that much light to sleep after all.  
Around you, twenty or thirty camping beds, much like the ones you just got up from, neatly arranged in rows. Each bed with its PASIV Device next to it, some are connected for dream sharing, others, like the one you were just attached to, aren’t.   
It’s pretty packed tonight, you notice. It has been more and more lately since it was officially declared that Somnacin is not considered an illegal drug in the US.   
It doesn’t alter your physical state, your cognitive abilities or anything like that, so they didn’t bother making it illegal when Asari brought it with them from their planet.  
The only side effect is that after a while it becomes the only way you can dream, but nobody gives a fuck about dreams right?   
Well, considering your dreams lately, maybe you’re better off this way.  
At least like this, you can control them. And sure, Shiara keeps telling you to stop recreating dreams from entire memories, that it has never brought anyone any solace, but what else are you supposed to do?   
  
When you started coming here it was just you and a few others, both human and alien. Now Shiara tells you that on some days they have to reduce the 4-hour time-limit to 2, so that they can satisfy all the customers.  
“Don’t worry though, I’ll personally make sure you get your four hours every night” she says as she takes position behind a cash register.   
You nod absently as you reach for your wallet to pay for you four hours (and a half).  
  
You hand her the money, as she takes them she lets her hand linger, and she entwines her fingers with yours to grab your attention.  
  
_Here we go_ , you think, _it’s time for the talk again._

You like Shiara, you really do, and she likes you, she cares.

You two met at the alien bar almost five months ago.

* * *

 

You needed to get wasted that night, turns out there wasn’t a chance in hell that the new administration that replaced Marsdin in 2018 would let a single, gay woman with a dangerous job like yours adopt anything other than a puppy. 

And you fought, you fought tooth and nail for your rights, but the only answer you were able to get from those assholes that handled your case was something along the lines of “You’re a woman right, if you really want a kid I’m sure you can figure out a way.” followed by a provocative wink.  
So you took a deep breath, forced down the bile that was raising in your throat, appealed to every last drop of self-control to avoid punching that guy through a wall, and went on with your life. Defeated.   
  
That night Shiara had just arrived on earth with her family and you had just lost yours, the hypothetical one, and the actual one.   
Kara had decided to take Lena and go spend some time together on Argo City, J’onn had been on Mars with M’gann for the past 3 months. You hadn’t had a chance to hear from either of them in a while… there’s no wi-fi in space after all.

Anyway, you were drunk and sad and alone and Shiara was a goddess sent from the heavens.  
You don’t even remember how you ended up in your bed at the end of the night, but now you can say with absolutely no doubt that Brainy was right: “Sexual intercourse with an Asari falls into the category that you humans describe as… _“something else”_ if I am not mistaken.”

And of course, the sex was, in fact, mind-blowing, but what Brainy didn’t tell you was that bonding with an Asari is deep, and intimate, she can feel everything you feel in that moment, and Shiara felt you, all of you.   
She felt your loneliness, your deep, deep sadness, your regrets, your longing for the woman you know you love with all your heart, that you know is never coming back. You let her go, you let her slip through your fingers, it’s your fault, it’s all your fault.   
Shiara felt all that, and during the night she witnessed more than one of your nightmares, you suppose. You think you heard her leave the apartment in the early hours of the morning, and you didn’t feel like stopping her after all.   
When you woke up, you found her note, she wanted to see you again, she wanted to talk.   
You met her for a beer (or, whatever it is that Asari drink) at the alien bar, and you could see she was trying to make you open up, but she was barking up the wrong tree, and you made sure to let her know.  
  
You didn’t hear from her for days after that, until one Saturday night you were drinking away your troubles at the pool table, by yourself, trying everything to avoid thinking about that article Brainy showed you, about the new commissioner of Gotham PD, a certain Margarita Sawyer.  
Shiara approached you timidly and gave you a note with an address on it.   
“Here, I thought maybe this could help you, my family and I are setting up the whole activity, on Thessia it’s very popular" she pauses, studying your face.  
"It’s not a solution, but since it looks like you’re only looking for those at the bottom of a glass, at least this is less destructive… I guess.”  
  
You took the note, she left with a kiss on your cheek, and now here you are, four months later, you a Somnacin addicted, and a kind, beautiful Asari that just… cares, for some reason.

You like Shiara, you really do, and she likes you, she cares… but sometimes she should just mind her fucking business. For once, for today, just for today. 

Her grip on your hand gets firmer, it’s like she can feel you rejecting her.   
  
“Listen, I know you don’t like to talk, I know I have no business into your life, but you know I worry anyway.”  
  
She keeps staring at you, looking for an opening, anything that indicates you letting her in, meanwhile your face remains the emotionless mask you’ve been putting on every day, for so long now “…I just …I want to make sure you know I’m here, okay?” she tries again. 

You look up at her at that. Why? Why does she care? She’s a 109-year-old alien with a life expectancy of 1000 years, why does she care SO MUCH about you? A puny human? 

While you ponder these existential questions, Shiara takes the plunge, she brings your face closer and kisses your lips gently.   
  
The kiss lasts only a few seconds, and it doesn’t look like she’s expecting you to reciprocate. In those few seconds, it’s like she realizes you probably never will. So she breaks the kiss, for a moment her forehead lingers against yours, then she gives you the most sincere smile and moves her hand to tuck a strand of hair behind your ears.   
  
“Goodnight Alex.”  
  
Despite everything, you manage to smile back, even if it’s just for a moment before you’re back to your same old… Sawyer-less existence.   
  
“…’night Shiara.” Is all you manage to say before walking up the steps and out the door of the basement.   
  
It’s chilly out at this hour. Winter is coming, even in California. As you walk to your bike you check your phone: the date reads 2:47 AM, November 7th, 2019.   
  
_Hm,_ you think, _two years today._    
  
No calls, no texts …wow, you’ve got to the point that you really miss Kara’s goodnight text every night, it used to drive you nuts, but you hope she and Lena are having a good time on Argo anyway.   
  
You check your email, no DEO emergencies, just the last message you read this morning, from Brainy:   
  
  
Director,   
_I have stumbled upon this piece of information in my morning scan of current news and events, based on your previews relationship status with Commissioner Sawyer and your amicable separation, I suppose you’d find this interesting in case you’d want to express your congratulations._  
  
_I remain at your disposal for any DEO related query or emergency._  
  
  
The message has a link to an article on the GPD website:  
**_“GPD Commissioner Margarita Sawyer and Katherine Kane are pleased to announce their eng—”_**

You don’t have to finish reading the sentence, you already have, it’s engraved in your brain, it has been for the whole day like it has been permanently burned there.   
  
_Mental note: one of these days you’ve GOT to teach Brainy the actual definition of “tact”._  
  
You put your phone back in your pocket, jump on your bike and drive home.

A glass of scotch will help you go back to sleep, for what’s left of another dreamless night.

Tomorrow you’ll wake up, take a shower, get dressed, go to work and do your job.

You’ll do it well, you’re great at it. 

After that you’ll change out of your uniform, say goodbye to your team, jump back on your bike and drive back here.

To dream, no… to wake up again.

**Author's Note:**

> If you have played Mass Effect... yes, Shiara's name is actually Liara and Shepard's ship name, and yes in my mind she looks like Liara. I mean, Alex looks exactly like Shepard so... yeah.


End file.
